5 Ways to Deal with an Avoidant Partner

We all know that love is important, but we also know that it can be hard to find the right person. When you do find someone you like, it’s natural to want them in your life and for them to feel the same way about you. But what if they don’t? What if they’re avoiding commitment or intimacy? This can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful when it’s happening to you. In this blog we’ll explore 5 Way To Deal With Avoidant Partner.

1. Identify the problem by offering understanding

When you realize that your partner is avoidant, the first thing to do is to find out the reason behind this. One quality often in short supply in relationships is listening. Be open to hearing about your partners feelings and issues, however they are expressed. Be kind and compassionate. Listen to understand, not to fix a problem.

A conversation is the best place to start. Be open. Listen. Share if it feels right. Talk about their past experiences and be sure to listen. 

2. Find out what their needs are and try to meet those needs

People with normal attachment tendencies are often overpowered with a burst of emotions. So, while being open about how you feel and what your needs are, give equal respect to your partner’s needs. Show your partners that you’re actually putting effort just to be with them.

Avoidant partners expect to be disappointed. Don’t make promises you cant keep.

3. Figure out how you can help them feel safe with intimacy/closeness

Avoidantly partners often have issues regarding connecting with others. They appear like “closed” people who are unable to express their feelings or intimate desires with others. An avoidant partner might behave this way since they have dealt with trauma, betrayal, or a lot of stress in the past.

Keep in mind, that the little trust they have set in you required many tough efforts on their part. So, be thankful for the bond you both have at this time, don’t misuse the trust they have placed in you. Make it clear that you trust your partner too. Because by doing this you can make your partner feel safe around you.

4. Be mindful about how you express strong emotions to your partner  

You need to be able to express your feelings and wants to your partner. But emotional expressions delivered intensely often overwhelm avoidant people can’t hear your message because they withdraw or shut down. You are more likely to be heard if you communicate your feelings honestly and openly but in a moderate tone.

5. Set healthy boundaries and work towards growth

Love does not = dysfunction or accepting behaviors that are just unacceptable. Let your partner know you expect to be respected. Boundaries are important. That means you have to tell your partner what you need and what you wont tolerate. Don’t forget your partner cannot read your mind – so you have to have a conversation.

Working towards growth means you and your partner will need to compromise. You may need to give your partner more space than you like and your partner may need to push him or herself to be closer at times than he or she might like. Over time both avoidant and anxious partners can become more secure in a stable relationship.

Sometimes reading a blog isn’t enough. Getting help from a Couples Counselor in Tampa Can Help.

If you have an avoidant partner to deal with and you want to make changes in your relationship, working with a couples counselor can help. It’s not easy to deal with an avoidant partner. This type of person requires a different approach than most people do when building and maintaining relationships or family environment. But, it can be done with the help from our Tampa couples counselors.

Schedule a visit by clicking the button below.